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Sheep Getting Slaughtered by Laser-Happy UFOs


Well, now we know why the sixth sheik’s sheep got sick. That is, if his situation is anything like that happening to the farmers in the English county of Shropshire. 

Farmers there report their sheep are being “lasered” by lights coming from UFOs. Which would be fine if the aliens thought they were cats and were just trying to get them to play. But no, these lasers are causing “neat holes” in the animals and their brains, eyes, and other internal organs are being removed.

The UFOs in question have been witnessed by multiple members of the Animal Pathology Field Unit who described the experience as, “For a short while it looked more like a Star Wars battle.” No reports are forthcoming as of yet as to ewe shot first.

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